Salona Sa Sajan Hai

My version of an Asha Bhonsle ghazal

Song

A short prelude to a purandara dasa kriti in Raga Tilang.

Some Cheese To Go With Your 'Whine'?

Touching enough to break the silence

After a 8 month hiatus, I am now returning to the blogosphere with this short post. Lots has happened since I last wrote, as is expected of any normal 20 something's life I suppose.
But today was different and the credit of this post goes to a little urchin boy, barely 6 years old at one of Delhi's traffic junctions. I was on my way to a meeting, travelling in a car, making mindless conversation with my colleague. The day hadn't started off very well. The dream from last night still haunted, the morning was slow, the thought of going to work gave me a sinking feeling. So all put together, not much was going great. We pull over at the traffic signal. I see something that brings back memories. I hate this city. Restaurants once visited with friends now remind me of my solitude; many, just about every route reminds me of trips taken with acquaintances, friends, special somebodies; shops that were once my jaunt now just stare at me blankly, reminding me of happier days bygone. While these thoughts came gushing at me, tears welled up in my eyes. To avoid being looked at, I look away at the general hustle-bustle of a city shamed by a series of blasts just a day ago. Up comes a little fellow, a scruffy 6 year-old with shining eyes and a will to survive. He asks me to throw some petty change at him. Then he takes a good look and says "Ro kyun rahi hai?" (Why are you crying?). I shoo him away, gesturing him to move onto the next car. He persists and adds "Kuchh mat dena, magar kyun ro rahi hai?" (Don't have to give me anything, but why are you crying?) I could have buried my head in shame. 2 things hit me the next instant. I loved the way the little fellow addressed me - 'tu'. It was so personal. And, I felt utterly stupid and at the same time touched to have been shown such concern by the little outlander. The signal went green. I didn't have time to react. The car started moving. I wanted to call out to him, give him something, thank him, maybe just smile back.. .but he was gone. Or perhaps he was still standing there, waiting for me to speak, while we sped away...

Taking a Break

I am taking a break from this blog. No reasons to offer. And I'm bloody sure nobody cares.

Its a Dotty Business

I have a problem with dots. Yes, its a kink. I cannot see too many of them together, specially if they are swollen or embossed on any surface. Aaargh!

So, I have this new look to my blog. I am going to get over my 'dot phobia'. There can be only 2 outcomes. Either there will hightened writing activity, in which case I will urge the readers of this blog to punch in their comments on the quality of writing. It might suffer tremendously, considering the current level of scholastic brilliance I bring in. What a loss it will be to all you (3) readers! OR, I will just disappear into thin air (off the blog I mean) only to reappear with the old look.

So let's wait and watch.

Get Going

While switching channels this lazy Sunday morning, I stopped to hear a voice on a Business channel say '30s is the new 20s'. Now, I am still only approaching the 30s, still a couple of years to go, but it made me sit up and think.

The dilemmas hit me again - where am I, what am I doing, where do I want to go from here yadayadayada...

I think the time has come when I need to get out. Get out of this mundane existence and do the things I have wanted. Enough of waiting, enough of pandering to everyone's whims, enough of just 'being'. It is time for some action. I am hoping putting it up on this blog will retain the rush and urgency I am feeling now, to actually get started.

The worst thing is to know you have the capability to do something and just sit idle not doing it, not getting after it. I have got to take the risk. I have always followed and persevered to get what I want. Maybe I should have seen this day much earlier, or perhaps not. No time is lost. I have come this far in life and I am happy I have experienced all that I have. I feel the drive to take this plunge in full swing only now! And I am bloody well going to do it!

So, is it going to be a new job? Yes. Same industry? Maybe. A hidden dream? Definitely.

There are some things I know will take time to achieve, and some smaller things I know I CAN do right away. Little things that will make me very happy. You will see, you will hear :-)

Before I move from one family to the 'other', while my parents try hard fixing me up, I need the transition phase to be spent with just myself. No commitments to nobody. Before I take on 'that' role, there are some things I need to get done to feel good about myself.

I am not even there yet, but I tell you, when you decide you're going to - the feeling is incredible. I hope I can write about what I did actually end up doing and feel all great about it, very very soon.

Cheers to all those who didn't even realise they played a huge role in getting me started onto this. Hope everyone does what they really want to, and find it in themselves soon enough to get going.

Love and peace...